- #Comedic monologues for women with no cursing how to#
- #Comedic monologues for women with no cursing movie#
How do you think you would fit into our office? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Tell me about a time you had a challenge at your previous jobs and how you handled it. I’ve come to you to formally make peace so that he and I-What am I saying? He doesn’t want me. But I can’t do that if I don’t feel like it’s okay with you. Which is to say get to know who he has become. I guess what I’m saying is, I want him back. Excitement has never been-But that’s not what I came to say. Well, I guess I came for your blessing? I know we were never what you’d call the best of friends. (She takes off the mask, the sunglasses, the hat.)Īnd You’d accept me for me. I would take off my mask when I got home to You and You could see all my feelings and all my thoughts. If only I could be invisible to everyone but you.
#Comedic monologues for women with no cursing movie#
I could be a mysterious movie star in a mask and you wouldn’t even glance at me. Why don’t You see me or talk to me or notice me? I can speak up more. What are You doing now? What are You thinking? Would You like this music? Would You enjoy my lemon tarts? The You I talk to late at night in my head. The You that never sees me no matter what. Because you don’t know what my face is doing. Like the most version of me and you couldn’t judge me for it. People will get used to it and then I never have to show my face to anybody and no one would assume I’m robbing a bank or disfigured. I’ll say, “Pardon the mask, I’m feeling a little under the weather.” Or maybe I don’t have to say anything at all. What if I was always just like this? Even after all this is over? Maybe I pretend I have a cold and I can always wear a mask over my mouth. Not that it should matter what people think.īut look. People have said nice things about my nose so maybe. (Puts hat on or pulls it down.) That pimple on my forehead? You can’t see it. I’ll pull this hat down and maybe this is the new normal. If I wear sunglasses too, I can be anybody. It hurts my ears but I never want to go outside without it. And look maybe I’m more attractive this way or more mysterious. Because you… you can’t really see me, can you? You can’t see my pointy front teeth that I’m self conscious about. (SHEILA wears a mask over her nose and mouth.) I want to just be and not feel guilty about it.
#Comedic monologues for women with no cursing how to#
Can we just for one day put all the anxiety away and pretend we don’t have to worry about money or living up to our potential or how to be human and just be. I want time to read and look at the sky and read poems and I want to not be afraid. But I never would have been that probably. Woke up early and practiced like olympians do. I act of course and I think I’m good, and I do work at that but I wonder about other things. I mean maybe I could have been at one point. I want to be special like everyone else but unlike everyone else I know I’m not. I have to step out of this play for a minute. Mostly I think I don’t deserve any success or love but also at the same time I think I’m the most amazing person that has ever existed. Me, I only see the horrible things I’ve done or said or thought. You deserve a parade when you do something amazing. You are worthy of love.Īlso you don’t have to be afraid, which doesn’t mean the world isn’t sometimes scary but that you deserve to be somewhere safe.Īlso once in a while you deserve a treat. Can we stop the play for a second? (to the audience.) I just want to say to you.
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